Me: Hello?

Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?

Me: I have no mother.

Her: Well can I speak to your father?

Me: Yeah, which one?

Her: Which one is home?

Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.

Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?

Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.

Her: So who's Antonio?

Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.

Her: So Carlos was cheating?

Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.

Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?

Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.

Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?

Me: I never said that.

Her: Yes, yes you did!

Me: No I didn't.

Her: Y-yes! You did!

Me: Did what?

Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.

arthur-christmas-claus:

And they weren’t even the same species.

“But it’s not natural!”

“There’s no way any child raised by two men could be happy, or even content.”

“But now their child will be gay.”

“He will never have a normal, real relationship.”

“He’ll be socially inept and never amount to anything.”

Respected king.

Loved father.

I rest my case.

And just for the hell of it…

You can be a homo too!

(via eternalsunshineonthespotlessmind)

tragicyouthwasgoingdownonme:

goldshirts-tightpants:

little-goose:

Excuse me but Into Darkness has been out for a week, why are there no posts talking about the fact that Cucumberpatch makes the face that suggests he’s going to steal christmas

I mean really

I HAVE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR A WEEK TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT STUPID FACE REMINDED ME OF AND THIS IS IT. THIS IS IT. THE FUCKING GRINCH.

Oh god no his face makes me so uncomfortable

(via malikbemine)

murphels:

uhg this illegal copy i downloaded is of shitty quality

THIS IS NOT WHAT I DIDN’T PAY FOR

(via 1love-1heart-1destiny)